Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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