OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize