marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
