I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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