ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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