Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
