On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
