Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
