hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
