I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize