$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize