My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
