I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
