Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize