i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i believe in u and ur pee
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
