Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
the day after is always just damage control
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
