his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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