I think my fart just growled at me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
