He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
