Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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