After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The air was thick with penises
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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