I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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