Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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