I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize