You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
