He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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