Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Randomize
