do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
How does one acquire holy water?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
