how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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