i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
