I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize