i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
