The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
