He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
bring money and cleavage
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
