If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
