I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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