He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
