My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
