She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
