Im at strip club and am horny
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
