eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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