Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
