And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
