I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
