Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
