They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
