I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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