I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I need a beard to bite.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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