Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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