she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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