My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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