We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
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