Quick, to the slutcave!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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