College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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