Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
