He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
