i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
