the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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