He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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