Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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